It has been difficult to get into the Christmas spirit this year. On the outside, I’ve been quite giddy and full of enthusiasm in regard to the upcoming festivities, but in reality, my innermost being has shied away from the holiday season. I attribute this to the “soul-weariness” that I’ve been struggling with lately. In some ways, I’ve been in survival mode; each day begins with the goal to successfully reach the end of the day in one piece. My pursuit and love of beauty and truth has taken a back seat, which leaves me tired, sometimes depressed, and weary of heart.
This last Wednesday, I arose at 3:15 am to take my sister to the airport. I left the airport and headed to a coffee shop to spend the next few hours before going to work with my grandparents. I walked into the coffee shop and found a table– not as easy as one would think, considering it was 6:45 in the morning (a local men’s Bible study filled over half of the small space). I brought with me my Bible, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, and One Thousand Gifts. My goal was to spend some quality time in God’s Word and crack the spine on a couple books on my book list. One Thousand Gifts was given to me by a dear friend for my high school graduation and it sat on my book shelf at school, untouched, due to my busy schedule. It was in opening this book that I began to…”see the forest for the trees.” In other words, I got my wake-up call and gained a little perspective.
In all honesty, I am far from finished with this book. However, as I embark on this journey, I’d like to share it with you along the way. In the first few chapters, Ann Voskamp shares about her quest to live the full life and the day she came across the Greek word, eucharisteo. In this one word, three particular meanings are present: thanksgiving, grace, and joy. The word as a whole means “thanksgiving;” grace (Greek word charis) and joy (Greek word chara) are embedded within it.
It is this word that washed over me in that small coffee shop, early Wednesday morning. In a small summation, the significance of eucharisteo is to see something as grace and to give thanks for it – resulting in joy. The underlying question is this – what is the significance of a lack of eucharisteo?
“‘ The only real fall of man is his noneucharistic life in a noneucharistic world.’ That was the fall! Non-eucharisteo, ingratitude, was the fall – humanity’s discontent with all that God freely gives. That is what has scraped me raw: ungratefulness. Then, to find Eden, the abundance of Paradise, I’d need to forsake my non-eucharisteo, my bruised and bloodied ungrateful life, and grab hold to eucharisteo, a lifestyle of thanksgiving.”Eucharisteo. THIS is what I want to embrace.
Now what? I know what I’ve been missing – thankfulness. I know what I’ve been wallowing in – ungratefulness. How can I change my mindset? How can I LEARN to live in eucharisteo?
Voskamp, in her own journey, helps answer this question. She begins writing a list. And not just any kind of list – a list of thanksgiving. She was challenged to write her own list of 1000 things, or gifts, within her own life. It could be anything from her children, to sunshine, to cookies straight out of the oven. As she writes things down and identifies her blessings, her perspective begins to change. She sees the small, the mundane, and the insignificant as what they are – gifts. She realizes that these small things make up the big things; they greatly contribute to what she considers her big blessings to be. In this next step of my own journey, I’m undertaking this challenge. Starting tonight, I’m beginning my own gift list.
Why am I telling you this? Because I know myself well. If I don’t tell someone or feel like I’m accountable to someone, it is highly probable that I will start out with great enthusiasm and when I get to 469, I’ll get distracted and not finish. So…I’m holding myself accountable to you, as my readers, to do do 4 things: finish my list, actively seek Christ, ask Him to change my perspective, and to teach me the meaning of eucharisteo.
Introducing….My Gift List:
1. the cheeriness of Christmas lights 2. the warmth and coziness of fireplaces 3. the prospect of a new tomorrow 4. tea 5. the love of a small, shaggy Shih-tzu with a “big dog attitude”My one question for you is this: Will you join me?
*Voskamp, Ann. One Thousand Gifts. (Zondervan, 2010), 35.
Just Breathe 